A boy comes into a butchery and stares at the butcher for at least 5 minutes. Finally the butcher asks, “So why do you stare at me for such a long time, boy?” The boy explains: “My mother wanted to know if you have a pig’s tail or pig’s ears.”
Why did the bee have sticky hair?
Because he was using a honey-comb.
One day, fridges will take their revenge. They will burst into your bedroom in the middle of the night, switch the light on, stare at you for a few minutes and then leave.
Why did the bee marry?
He’s finally found his honey.
Three men are riding on a motorcycle. They pass a police patrol.
The policeman shouts after them, “Police! Stop your vehicle now!” But they just continue driving past.
The last man turns around and yells, “Sorry dude! We can’t take you on, we’re already one too many!”
You know you’re old when your friends start having kids on purpose.
That moment when you want to be really cool in the cinema and start flipping popcorn into the air to catch it with your open mouth, but instead you get it in your open eye and the rest of the movie is just blurry.
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.
The urologist is about to leave his office and says,
“Ok, let’s piss off now.”
Lawyer: To prove that my client was home alone, I would like to present my client’s internet search history from that evening.
Client: I’d rather just confess to the murder.