“Do you know how to make a dumb person curious?”
“I’ll tell you tomorrow.”
“Excuse me, sir, have you seen a police officer around here?”
“No, not even a single person here, to be exact.”
“Very good, now give me your wallet, watch and laptop!”
I‘ve decided to run a marathon for charity. I didn’t want to do it at first, but apparently it’s for blind and disabled kids so I think I’ve got a good chance of winning.
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other, “I really don’t get how he can feed himself with that thing!”
“Grandpa, why don’t you have any life insurance?”
“So you can all be really sad when I die.”
A wife is like a hand grenade. Take off the ring and say good bye to your house.
I got another letter from this lawyer today. It said, “Final Notice”. Good that he will not bother me anymore.
Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I’d still feel a lot more comfortable crying in a new BMW than on a bike.
Dentist: This will hurt a little.
Dentist: I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.
Patient: Doctor, I have forgotten so many things lately, and it’s getting worse. What can I do?
Doctor: Yes, this is a known illness, unfortunately it has no cure. I’d also like to remind you about the USD500 that you owe me?