Jokes Bundle Part – 6

What do you call a man lying in front of a door? Matt.

I can’t wait for when my 2 months old son can eventually start walking and talking.

So that I can tell him to sit down and shut up.

My girlfriend found out I was cheating on her, after she found out all the letter I was hiding.

She got so mad that she said she’ll never play scrabble with me again.

Why is marriage like a hot bath?

Because once you get used to it, it’s really not so hot.

What is the difference between mother & wife?

One woman brings you into this world crying… and the other ensures you continue to do so.

I started reading a horror novel in braille recently.

Something bad is going to happen. I can feel it.

Wife: Do you want dinner?

Husband: Sure, what are my choices?

Wife: Yes or No.

If you wear an underwear inside out, the whole universe is wearing it except for you.

Recently I read so many horrible things about drinking and smoking. So I made a firm decision: NO MORE READING!

My wife asked me, “What do you like most in me? My pretty face or my sexy body?”

I looked at her from head to toe and replied, “I like your sense of humor.