My therapist told me in order to deal with my hate issues, I just need to write letters to the people I hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don’t know what to do with the letters.
If you run in front of a car, you get Tired.
If you run behind a car you get Exhausted.
Don’t forget, tonight the Moon will be visible from the Earth. The last time this happened was last night.
How many Ants does it take to fill an apartment?
Why did the bird have to go to the hospital?
He was scheduled for a tweetment.
In 1988, while I was riding my bike, I fell off and hurt my knee. I am telling you now because we do not have social medias back then.
Boy: Are you wearing all black again??
Girl: I wear all black to remind you not to mess with me, because I’m already dressed for your funeral.
I was looking for that thing that peels potatoes, apples and carrots.
I asked my kids if they had any idea. Apparently their mother went to the toilet few minutes ago.
After a long time, I told my hot colleague of how I felt.
Turns out she felt the same way!
So we decided to turn on the air conditioner.
My girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying, “This isn’t working, I’m going to my mom’s house.”
I opened the fridge door, the light was on, the juice was cold.
What the hell did she mean?